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Sorry it's taken me so long to update my blog, I've been pretty busy, but here's how I measured up on Dante's Inferno test. Hee hee. I didn't even make it to purgatory!

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Moderate
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Moderate
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

 
Hmmm, today is the day I have to finish doing my financial analysis of the Circuit City Annual reports. It's kinda exciting that I'm doing a real project involving my own analysis but I'm a little scared at the same time. It's only me and this other girl that actually might know what we're doing. Two of the other people are barely doing their work. So I'm worried. ARghh. Anyways, I should get back to it soon.
MMmmm, I saw Secretary today, it was very disturbing. I mean, you should see it. It made me wonder what the hell was going through their heads--but they're very much the weird type. I mean the whole masochist and sadist type. I guess people really have their kinkiness and methods of getting off. Wow, but I swear anytime I watch any James Spader movie, I get this really disturbed feeling, he's always playing a man with a really kinky way of getting off. Do you guys remember the movie, "Crash" Yeah, that was also another weird movie about people needing to get off by having sex in dangerous situations, especially in cars. Wow, that was way back in the day. Being 21, i feel really odd now, almost like I should be so completely different now, but I'm still much the same, but not so. I guess I don't really make sense right now. I'm pretty tired. I'm going back to work. HOpefully, I'll update soon, but I'm super busy right now. See ya.

 
Well, I took my Managerial accounting midterm today. It went okay, except I was really sleepy and I blanked out on a question for a second. I think I did alright. I'm glad it's over.

Except, today I have more pressing matters to think about. I got asked by a random bum lady for money and for some reason I felt so incredibly bad. I can't really explain why I felt so bad when I saw her, since I've been approached by these people countless of times before. Granted, when I first got to Berkeley, I gave money to everyone that asked and I just had to toughen myself up and deny them stuff, especially when I saw bums sharing a bottle of vodka in the middle of the day. But today, it hurt to see her. I almost wanted to cry. I felt like my heart was being wrenched from me and squeezed. I wanted to take the little asian woman home with me and make her something to eat. I just kept thinking that she could be my mother. That it is so sad that she doesn't even have anyone to take care of her. What would happen if my mother was on the streets and nobody helped her. I don't know. I just....dont' know....

 
Well, it felt good to dance--it's been a while since I've danced like that. I miss feeling the music shoot straight to the small of my spine and all the way down to my tippy toes and to the tips of my fingertips to the top of my head and have it send chills radiating all over my body. It feels sooo good. I love the way my body feels when it moves with the music. It truly is a unique feeling. Something that can't even be put into words, and something that can't be felt by anyone unless they completely, fully surrender. Surrender to the heady, steady beat of the bass as your body moves to it, and simultaneously have your spirits lifted from the lyrics or tune of the music. It's truly amazing. It's beautiful.... The emotions that you are feeling inside, like the trapped little feeling I get sometimes, is erased temporarily when I dance. But the urgency of it can never go away. So when I move, I move with urgency as if something was chasing me, as if the trapped little feeling was trying to inch it's way back into my body, while my mind is trying to keep it at bay.

 
Okay, I'm back. I got about 2 hours of sleep last night since I decided to procrastinate as usual and study for my intermediate financial accounting class last minute. I did pretty well, except for the annuity question, couldn't remember the formula for the life of me!! Argh, it's worth 8 points too. I have one down and two more midterms to go for this week. It really is amazing, what you can actually accomplish by studing even just half a day in advance. I actually started to study Saturday night, and I am very proud of myself. Hee hee. But my slacker days must stop or else I'll flunk out of school--really. I guess if I had started studying on Friday, like I planned I would have gotten more sleep last night, hmmmm..... Oh, it's cool. I had a blast. I met up a friend of mine at a Frat party and I had loads of fun. They had a pretty decent DJ and the party got moving around 11 which is around the time I got there. They didn't run out of alcohol, which is a definite plus. I didn't know I could get drunk off of just 4 MGDs. I mean, I thought I could handle my alchy but I guess I couldn't. After the party got broken up around 1 am, some of my friends and I crashed right away. I didn't even realize that I passed out on my bed right next to a very good friend of mine, all interwined and stuff. Hee hee. But completely innocent--I swear, my roommate will vouch for me. :-D

 
I will try to update this as often as I can.

 
Hmmm, well, it's official, I start with Smith Barney in June. Gosh, I am worried since I probably will still have to find a job over the summer. And I am a little disappointed because I wanted to go to Korea this summer too. I guess you can't do everything you want all at once. Gosh, I feel kinda bad that my friend, David, the guy that is actually all into investment banking hasn't gotten a internship yet, and here I have. Well, I guess life isn't fair...but that doesn't mean that I have to like it. I ditched most of my classes today. Just went to Macro, that was all. I don't know what's wrong with me. I seem to be on these up and down swings and they're really starting to piss me off. I think I'm going to get off the pill soon, it's really making me emotional and moody. I really wonder what the hell is really going on in my head. All I want is to be happy. Except, don't exactly know what that is. So, I think I'm going out tonight. Maybe if I dance the night away, I'll forget about all my sorrows. Sorrows, you might say, what the hell type of sorrows would a 21 year old actually have? Yeah, I wonder that all my life.

I wanna know why I'm so unhappy damn it! I think I'm at a crossroad in my life, and I don't know what road to take. All my life, I've been the committed one man type of woman. Actually I was happy with that. Now that I'm at Berkeley and knowing that I only have about a year left to go before I'm officially grown-up, I'm starting to panic. I wanna live life to the fullest. I wanna say when I'm old and gray that I have no regrets and that I've done every thing that I've ever wanted to do. But I guess it's kinda hard having no regrets. I find myself regretting stuff lately. But, damnit I shouldn't and I'm not! I miss him. I hope to see him later on this month, when he comes down. I should just move on. Knowing the circumstances that we're in, I should just move on. I just wanna feel loved.